2005-07-22
my first time
I'm lagging on the entries. this is true. I accidentally typed 'entires' there, at first. that sort of sums it up. if you read 'entire' as 'en-tire', like 'make tired'. rather than the actual word that it is... not that entire is a verb. either way:
I'm very very tired. I have only stupidities to share, and I can share them only once and then they are deflated of all possible entertainment merit. So, y'all are missing out on some awesome stupidness. I bet you're real sad about that.
Soon I shall be Powered Up again, though. I just know it!
***
I did have one small bit of excitement today. I went to the doc to get my crazy pills subscription renewed and I got him to look at a thing on my back at the same time, because I am scared I'll get skin cancer for SURE!!
so he looked at it and pronounced it "a zit or something" and I said, well it's been there "for, like, a year." and he said, oh, well then it must be "like, a wart or something".
Then he got a personal phone call on his smell and stepped outside and when he came back he was carrying a styrofoam cup of something that was steaming like a mad scientist's experiment gone exactly as planned.
with a long Q-tip in it.
I jerked back, stared at him with dilated pupils and pulled my ears back, wriggling my nose.
oh no wait that's not me.
I jerked back and said "what's that?" hoping he wasn't about to just put it on me with no foreplay.
"It's nitro-glycerin" he said, and I thought, explosives! -- "it's, like, 180 degrees below zero or something; it freezes the skin right off"
oh I was getting the picture. He was gonna "burn" my "wart or something" off. ok, so I asked if it would hurt (wincing, whining and pulling away, I admit) and he pinched my arm and laughed and said, "about like that" (woah is this turning into an erotic story or what? - did I mention I had to strip and bend Waaaaay over?), so I said ok.
then he froze off my wart. I've never had that done before. I liked it. I hope I get many more warts so they can all get frozen off.
no wait, I mean:
...so I said ok.
then he gently dabbed the nitro-glycerin drenched swab to the affected area. I felt his fingers brush my back as he returned to the styrofoam cup to replenish the swab for another go at my wart. was it on purpose? do I say something? is this his "bedside manner"?
pansycline at 11:50 p.m.