2005-06-11
gunz n' stuff
I'm feeling nervous, suddenly, about the idea of moving to my own place. ok, fine, scared.
not of the dark or anything, just, I guess of the unknown? my little yard and garden and room and kitchen are so nice... but then I get this sick hard feeling when I say to myself, ok, then, change your mind. It's easy. That's what minds are for!
so, I'm doing it. but damn I wish the wait wasn't so long. I have all this dreading and thinking and rethinking and getting tired and forgetting to take my crazy pills [oh yeah that's also definitely part of this nerves and scaredness] and having fun with the room mate and being comfortable and wondering where I'll go... ah well. August 1 will come and go and I will be alive and living somewhere.
Hopefully I can paint my new place. I have fantastic ideas for a gun-themed bathroom.
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something else I was gonna say...
I dunno. It's maxi-hot here and humid, and my fingers stick to every key as I type. And it's only June!! I friggin' LOVE LOVE LOVE the summer.
***
ps. ladies I befriended Deaner on myspace. I left what I think is a hilarious, but, I admit, somewhat assholic, comment on his profile. heheh.
wait a second...
why do I shoot my feet all the time?! WHY?!
[arms raised, fists shaking at the heavens in the rain. I've got a trenchcoat on, but it's open, and my briefcase is lying open beside me. The pages of my diary are blowing and soaking down the sidewalk, but I am oblivious as I kneel in the midst of rush hour pedestrians, screaming at the sky. I really wish I wasn't wearing wool socks.]
pansycline at 1:23 a.m.